Life is hard sometimes.
It's hard in that it throws you complete curve balls. I could write out my future in the most permanent of all permanent markers but guess what? No, life isn't supposed to be figured out within one motivated sitting of planning. I was telling Amy today that sometimes I wish I could possess the book with all of the answers and everything that God has planned for me. But, would I really want to see it? Yes, in this moment, when my future as an adult is unclear, it would be super nice to know exactly where I am going to be in the next 6 months BUT when I really start to think about it....the uncertaintity is actually so beautiful. God has a way of keeping me on my toes in all moments. I tell Him I want this, He gives me that. I can just see Him, thinking, "Wow, Brianna, do you not think that my plans for you are even GREATER than what you had planned in the first place?"
This keeps me going.
It keeps me going in all of life's precious surprises. The greatest thing is, though, that I am learning to rely on God. I rely on Him and that is honestly filling me with so much joy. I feel that I am the happiest version of myself that I've known in quite some time. I am loving this time; this time of uncertaintity. I love that God is teaching me to lean on Him because His shoulder is the most sacred place I have ever rested.
I don't know what is going to happen after graduation.
Actually, I don't know what coffee I'll order tomorrow at Next Door Bake shop. But, guess what? I don't even care. I am so at peace with myself because I am at peace with God and His plans.
He knows what He's doing. So, I guess I'll just learn along the way.
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