It started a while ago

I'm kind of mad at myself.

I keep telling myself that life is starting after graduation and it's this new adventure that is going to shape me into the person I am supposed to be.

No.

Life started 21 years ago on May 8th for me, probably a different date for you. Why am I so keen to thinking that Graduating from college and moving on with my life is where it all starts? It started a long time ago and the fact that I haven't been appreciating it irks me. Graduating from high school or college has such a weight that comes with it.

What are your future plans? 
Where do you see yourself?
What are you going to do for this world?

I'm guilty. I've asked the questions. I've answered the questions. I've sat in my room, looking up at my ceiling, freaking out that my future is not where it's supposed to be. Why is this time, now, any more important than my transition from freshman year to sophomore year of college? My life was in motion, I was doing my thing, figuring out my life, and shaping myself into who I needed to be. 

Sounds a lot like what I'm doing in this moment.

Life started the moment we took our first breath. Weird, right? 2 minute old Brianna was living life and making a name for herself without even thinking. Yes, I did just refer to myself in the 3rd person. It's all so crazy to think about. Life started when I took my first steps, when I scored my first soccer goal (on my own team), when I met my best friend, when my heart got broken for the first time and I thought life would indeed end, when I devoted my life to Christ, and life is still continuing when I graduate college in less than two weeks.

Life doesn't start after May 17th when I walk across that stage. It started a long time ago. I need to remember that.

I need to remember that when I am checking out at Kroger and I have a random mental breakdown of how life is going to be after I graduate college.

Life is going to be the same. I am still going to be myself, I'll just be continuing the story that started the moment I took my first breath.

Graduation is not something to be taken lightly, it's a huge accomplishment, especially for this first generation child of my family. My parents handed over a lot of cash to give me 4 years to grow, to learn about myself, and to learn how to write a paper the morning of and still pull off a good grade.

Graduation is something that should be celebrated, no countdowns though, but indefinitely something to be happy about.